Diwali 2019
OCT 27TH, 2019
In 2019 down the block from where I live was a place the locals call “India Square.” This small urban area in Jersey City is home to many Indian restaurants and stores. I walked this area almost every day and treated myself to some of the best Indian food in the country. On this day Oct 27th, 2019 the locals flooded the streets in celebration of Diwali. I heard the fireworks going off from my apartment and quickly grabbed my camera to take some pictures. To my surprise, the streets were crowded and so much smoke filled the air that it created a surreal atmosphere.
These would be the last pictures I took in this neighborhood as I moved to Hawaii soon after. I lived in New Jersey for most of my life and there I met and married my wife, discovered my love for bboying, had countless good times and developed bonds with my best friends. Despite all the good times, there was some drama I was dealing with that took a toll on my mental health. Suddenly my environment reminded me of all these negative events and feelings. I needed to leave and thought what better place to heal and start new than a place like Hawaii, the polar opposite of Jersey City. My daughter was two years old at the time and I also wanted her to grow up someplace where people were less mean. Most of all, I did not want her to experience the racism I experienced growing up as an Asian American. From what I knew about Hawaii, Asians were a majority. People who live in New Jersey will say things like “Jersey Strong” and “Only the strong survive” when referring to our state, I’m not sure if that is a good thing or bad but its true.
Almost 7 years later, here I am writing this in one of the most beautiful places on earth, my daughter is 9 now and she is the happiest and most joyful person I know. Some days I will go for a run and then swim in the ocean to clean off the sweat after dropping her off at school. While floating in the water and looking at the sky, I feel gratitude for everything that led me here, all the experiences in Jersey that made me who I am. Still, some days I feel like a dark cloud is following me and I become anxious that the locals here who are full of light will notice me a mile away and tell me that I don’t belong. So far that hasn’t happened though, the people I’ve encountered here are the kindest and most welcoming people I’ve met. Random people will smile at you and give you the Shaka when passing them. At first, this caught my extra defensive jersey instincts off guard but now I smile back and give the Shaka when a car lets me merge. My daughter loves it here and I see nothing but Joy in her eyes. Nobody bullies her at school or calls her racial slurs and she is friends with everyone in her class. I can go an entire year driving here and not hear one person honk their horn. Such a stark contrast to the Jersey I grew up in. I am so happy it is.
